things moving – just more slowly than planned

It’s been a long time since I wrote. I knew this would happen – that I would write really regularly for a while, and then just stop! It was partly because I felt a little deflated by the test results not explaining my symptoms fully. Next I experienced an improvement in my physical health but along with that I had less energy to do cognitive stuff like write blog posts. Straight after, my health deteriorated fast. I went from almost ready to be hoisted, to barely able to have the angle of the bed inclined again. I think it was down to a number of things. First off I had done too much with my initial improvement. Then I had my birthday weekend which was a bit too busy. Straight after that I had a social worker visit that ended up being so long I got a lot of payback. I think over all the biggest thing was that I had tried switching from codeine to tramadol since my pain had been really bad and it was the strongest think my gp would prescribe. The tramadol turned out to be really bad for me causing sleep problems, nausea, increased pain, chest tightness and orthostatic intolerance. Not good. I’m really glad I figured it out as otherwise I would have confined thinking that the other factors were the only ones.

The trouble with tramadol is that you become dependent on it pretty quick. I switched from codeine to tramadol without without much problems but switching back – oh boy! I tried cold turkey and lasted one day. Not good for my physical or mental health. Over the last few weeks I have gotten it down to taking one tramadol a day and 7 codeine. Tonight I think I will stop that last tramadol. Fingers crossed it won’t be too bad.

My health is improving again but I have a lot of various stages at the moment. I am being very slowly reassessed by social services who want to take a multi disciplinary approach. My PA also resigned but I have been advised not to recruit again until I have finished the assessment process and have a clear care plan. I hope all the drama doesn’t affect my health too badly. I am not sleeping or resting properly which is not good. Fingers crossed things change on all fronts soon.

Supplement changes have gone on hold due to trying to get off the tramadol so I am nearly at the same point I was firing my last blog post. I switched to Lactobacillus rhamnosus probiotic on the recommendation of Dr McGill but have had a lot of foul smelling wind and stomach discomfort. This means I have decided to change probiotic again. I wondered if it containing small amounts of milk protein was part of the problem but I’ve had a lot of confusion about which to take. Mostly mindlinx vs bio kult. Im worried about milk + ethics of milk but bio kult although grown using milk is cheaper and has more strains. I settled on mindlinx because of it being biocare (a good brand) but I am wondering if that was for the best. I can always change again but that takes time and I want to be concentrating on adding in my new supplements. I was overwhelmed by choice. Hopefully I will manage with these for at least a month and maybe more until I have added other things in. I do feel bad about the £20 a month price tag though. Bio kult is about half. Most of my benefits now go on supplements and the additional cost of organic vegetables.

I am now eating eggs regularly. I tried fish and have mixed thoughts. Will try again. I may write in the future about my feelings on the ethics of it all. It’s difficult though.


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